The Chia Report

You Lazy (Intellectual) African Scum!

Culled from Mind of Malaka (January 18, 2012) and written by Field Ruwe***

They call the Third World the lazy man’s purview; the sluggishly slothful and languorous prefecture. In this realm people are sleepy, dreamy, torpid, lethargic, and therefore indigent—totally penniless, needy, destitute, poverty-stricken, disfavored, and impoverished. In this demesne, as they call it, there are hardly any discoveries, inventions, and innovations. Africa is the trailblazer. Some still call it “the dark continent” for the light that flickers under the tunnel is not that of hope, but an approaching train. And because countless keep waiting in the way of the train, millions die and many more remain decapitated by the day.

Befitting Funeral or Befitting Life? Celebrating the dead over the living

By Innocent Chia: Courtesy Dunia Magazine - Print Issue 6

At almost every funeral that I can remember attending, there has been at least one person whose eulogy has been a reminder that “we are here to celebrate the life of …” I know I said it at my mother’s passing in December 2000.

But this statement, which evokes fond memories of our loved one, has also not prohibited me from wondering ever so often whether those of us from the developing world, particularly Africa, are not exaggeratedly misplacing priorities by how much is spent and sacrificed for the dead over the living. I am wondering how much we are spending when our loved one is sick and dying on a hospital bed or at home? Is that cost more than or less than the funeral costs?

Continue reading "Befitting Funeral or Befitting Life? Celebrating the dead over the living"

Above the Law: Cameroon’s faceoff with the International Criminal Court.

By Honoré A. NGAM* & edited by Innocent Chia
(honorengam@yahoo.com)

Cameroon has ratified most of the core international human rights treaties such as the International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights (ICCPR), the International Covenant on Economic, Social and Cultural Rights (ICESCR) and the African Charter on Human and Peoples’ Rights. Cameroon, like much of Africa actively participated in the deliberations and negotiations leading to the creation of the ICC and featured among the first countries to sign the Rome Statute on the International Criminal Court on the 17 July, 1998. Ironically, this early enthusiasm towards the ICC has been blighted by a prolonged reluctance to ratify the ICC statute earning Cameroon the status of an ‘ICC hesitant’ country.

Africa's burgeoning middle class brings hope to a continent

A new financial assertiveness and cultural self-confidence is growing, fuelled by technology

By David Smith in Kinshasa and Johannesburg, Lucy Lamble in Tunis for theguardian - Sunday 25 December 2011 15.05 EST

The Kapayas in Lusaka boast all the hallmarks of a middle-class lifestyle but try to maintain their rural family values. Photograph: Georgina Smith

At the end of another of Kinshasa's potholed roads, lined with shacks and crumbling matchbox houses, comes a sudden clearing. It is a sandy patch of land surrounded by water in which bare-chested boys in dugout canoes paddle among the hyacinths. A giant pump is working day and night, reclaiming land from the sandbanks and river beds, expanding the city in defiance of nature.

The Biya Government: Old wine in New Skin... Women still relegated to sinecure

By Innocent Chia
Following the pre-ballot victory of President Biya at the October 9th elections, the octogenarian, entering his 30th year of autocratic rule in the banana Republique du Cameroun, reshuffled his cabinet. One week after the Ministerial appointments, political pundits and many interested parties are dumbfounded, finding neither rhyme nor reason to the 34th cabinet. The Chia Report takes note of the black ink on white paper and steps further afield, even as three women win the 2011 Nobel Peace Prize, to look at Biya’s consistent message to his daughters and women in general – study Women’s affairs and /or culture. It a message in dissonance with what the late first lady, Jeanne Irene Biya stood for as a nurse practitioner.

Re-tooling for the food crisis in the Horn of Africa

Article culled from Climate and Development Knowledge Network

Can small-scale adaptation actions address the food crisis in the Horn of Africa?

by: CDKN Global | on: 12pm, November 01, 2011

 Yes, small-scale adaptation actions should be widely adopted as a way of addressing recurring food crises in the Horn of Africa, says Dr. Richard Munang of the UN’s Climate Change Adaptation and Development (CC DARE) programme. Large-scale, top down commercial agriculture fails to build the resilience needed in the Horn of Africa to avoid crisis after crisis.

$15.00 transports your corpse from the USA to Cameroon

By Innocent Chia
It costs a minimum $12,000 (6 million CFA frs) to transport a corpse from the United States to Cameroon. The majority of Cameroonians who are neither home owners nor car owners list the death of a loved one in America as their largest single expenditure - other than a trip to the emergency room…. But that may be over now. An association has come to the rescue with a scheme where members spend a maximum of $15.00 and the corpse is taken all the way to the village in Cameroon.

Obiang Nguema's son surrenders Ferrari to U.S

Intro only by Innocent Chia

Article culled from Yahoo! Autos

If anyone had lingering doubts about Obama's inaugural promise to unclinch the fists of dictators across Africa, he served another reminder in a pre-taped interview on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno. The spate of dictatorships that have crumbled within the last 10 months - Ben Ali of Tunisia, Hosni Mubarak of Egypt and Muammar Gaddafi of Libya - provides more than a sneak-preview of prevailing anxieties in surviving dictatorships - Paul Biya of Cameroon and Obiang Nguema of Equatorial Guinea.

While Cameroon's CPDM has uncharacteristically not celebrated its "People's choice" "victory" from the elections of October 9th, Obiang is beginning to feel some ground shifting from underneath...If the dictator will not crumble on his own, his collaborators do not have the same security in the respective villages and neighborhoods... If the collaborators crumble, the dictator cannot replace them fast enough... The Obama doctrine is that there is no safe haven for dictators, their kids or collaborators...at home in Cameroon or abroad in the US!

ELECTIONS-FRAUD-PEACE: The Cameroon Blend

By Roland Abeng - Barrister at Law
The stage had long been prepared for the outcome of the October 9th presidential elections in Cameroon.  The Law creating Elections Cameroon and its subsequent modifications which diluted the powers of the institution; the 2008 constitutional amendment removing presidential mandate limits; and, of course, the “PEOPLE’S CALL” for president Biya to stand as candidate for the elections are just some of the acts that helped seal the outcome of the October 9th event.

A dictator buried – Kaddafi. A dictator crowned – Biya.

By Innocent Chia
When the UN authorized Military Action against Libya’s Muammar Kaddafi over 7 months ago on March 17, 2011 there was fierce opposition to yet “another Western invasion of an African and Muslim country”- (my paraphrase). African proponents of this anti-Western rhetoric viewed it in black and white terms – the invasion was all about Libyan oil and little to do with the freedom of Libyan people. With reports confirming the killing of Kaddafi in his home town of Sirte, there is much to consider about the claims that only the West wanted Kaddafi gone. But today, The Chia Report makes the argument that when African leaders begin respecting the wisdom of limited terms in office, it will guarantee Africa and Africans the beginning of truly fair treatment from peers and the rest of the World.

Brewing Post-Electoral Violence in Cameroun

By Innocent Chia
Beyond midway from voting on Sunday, October 9, 2011 and next Sunday, October 23 when results of Cameroon’s Presidential elections are expected, credit has to be given to the Biya rigging machine – in cahoots with the non-descript and hollow ELECAM – for the wholesale bribery of opposition leaders. The scheme that advanced 50 percent of campaign funds before elections, and a promissory note to pay the other half post electorally, not only pinched most of the already cash-strapped opposition; it guaranteed a staying power for the mendicant and sucked the oxygen out of any pipedreams for a united opposition front. But the greatest coup yet by the Biya camp may be the messianic victories that he is getting, thanks to simulated citizens like Lady Kate Njeuma, from the recently enfranchised and controversial Diaspora.

President Paul Biya’s escape plans

By Innocent Chia
Sources close to the security detail of the 29 years old regime of President Paul Biya are intimating intense planning for possible escape routes in case of escalating violence post October 9th, 2011 Presidential elections. Unlike the1984 coup d’état in which then Captain Ivo took Biya into hiding - thus guaranteeing the Presidency that has become today’s surviving dictatorship -  there is recognition within the security apparatchiks  that the Etoudi Unity Palace is not labyrinth enough for the anger that will fuel the next popular uprising in Cameroon.

Should Africans care about limping Greece?

By Hinsley Njila for www.chiareport.com ***

Equities in the US are on track for their worse quarter since 2008 even as many investors fear that economic data from China and Europe is pointing toward a global slowdown. My focus in this article is on the current financial nightmare in Europe that is the catalyst of the current bearishness, and more importantly the potential short and long-term consequences to African economies regardless of the fix.

Kah Walla gets major protest endorsement from Dr. MAL Fobi

Intro by Innocent Chia

Dr Mal Fobi’s much coveted endorsement has been won by Kah Walla, Presidential candidate at the upcoming October 9th elections in Cameroon.  In the shell shocking move particularly rebuking of erstwhile Cameroon opposition front leader, Ni John Fru Ndi - said to be mimicking President Biya’s every move to eternalize himself at the head of the party and the nation – the US and world renown surgeon touts Kah Walla as a "tool for Devine Intervention" by which Cameroon will be spared of the Arab spring bloodbath.

It is not only an endorsement that revitalizes a campaign that many see as doomed to fail on the merits of geopolitics and limited knowledge of the candidate outside her stronghold of Douala and a couple other cosmopolitan areas. The campaign is in dire need of financial support, a boon that the California based Dr. MAL Fobi brought to the SDF in 1992. Even more than inviting the rest of the Cameroon Diaspora, and possibly some Hollywood heavy-hitters, to support financially and otherwise, the endorsement also turns the lights on President Paul Biya’s charade as much as on Kah Walla and the Cameroon People’s Party to deliver. 

 

Paul Biya forestalls democracy in Cameroon...again

By Innocent Chia

It does not surprise many Cameroonians and avid observers - as much as it is discombobulating to the greater majority, defying commonsense and the prospect for a peaceful transition in Cameroon - that Biya is hanging on for another term in power. Barely two days after setting the date for the much anticipated 2011 elections on October 9th, Biya's team moved swiftly, depositing his registration fee into the treasury before dateline at end of business on Wednesday 8/31. The dateline for contenders to be registered is Sunday, September 4th. His mere registration as CPDM candidate and incumbent guarantees him victory - even before the ballot is cast - and hands disheartening defeat on a golden platter both to the citizens of La Republique du Cameroon who are yearning for a fresh start and, especially, to some foreign nationals of Southern Cameroons who are arguably far too eager to trade personal power for the perpetual enslavement of their masses.

Eto’o for President of Cameroon

By Innocent Chia

As the World celebrates the sanguineous unwinding of Muammar Ghadaffi’s 42-year old dictatorial regime in Libya, chants of “Biya must go” in Cameroon are increasingly becoming a preface to “Eto’o for President!” Eto’o Fils, world acclaimed 30 year-old goal-scoring soccer wonder-boy from Cameroon just signed a contract with a little known Russian club to make him the highest paid world soccer player at over half a million dollars a week, according to the AP!The Chia Report looks exclusively at why an Eto’o Fils candidacy could be so right, it will practically dwarf the field of pretenders who are lining up to become runners-up to the 29 year-old incumbency of President Biya…

Minnesota Cameroonians vote for a new direction in leadership

  By Innocent Chia

Robert Ndifor Tamukong has been ushered in as the new President of Minnesota Cameroonians following elections on Saturday August 13, 20011 at 5801 John Martins Dr in Brooklyn Center, Minnesota. Winning over 60 percent of the vote of registered MINCAM members, the incoming President acknowledged his rival and pioneer outgoing President, Esq. Michael Fondungallah and his team for their vision and leadership over the last three years. Beyond the acknowledgement however, concerned Cameroonians within proximity that have been monitoring the otherwise remote election heaved a sigh of relief when the incoming President extended an olive branch to the outgoing team. Both campaign teams were accusing each other of crossing over the fine line of political civility and linguistic probity on the last stretch of the campaign. 

Save me from my babysitter! When moms take on babysitting

By Innocent Chia, first published in Dunia Magazine print – issue 4

Arnold Schwarzenegger’s love-child affair has sent reverberations the world over not only because it happened right under the nose of wife Maria Shriver with a trusted maid of over 20 years, but also because the drama highlights a contemporary challenge for spouses – babysitting and housekeeping.
Far from the melodrama in Hollywood, almost every family with kids in America confronts the difficult choices of finding affordable childcare for the family. Within immigrant communities the challenge of affordability is often compounded by nostalgic cultural affinities.

More at www.duniamagazine.com

Diabetes – Cameroon’s ticking timebomb

By Hinsley Njila (with Intro by Innocent Chia)

An extrapolation from the latest British Medical Journal, the Lancet, indicates that diabetes is on par to be the leading killing disease among Cameroonian women. According to the study that spans almost three decades, from 1980-2008, there has been a 60% increase in the prevalence of diabetes in the Cameroon female population. Compare this number to the 15-30 % increase during the identical timeframe among the male population. In the following piece, Hinsley Njila speaks his heart through his mind, imploring the government and Cameroon media to spring to live before the clock runs out of the ticking timebomb. The call for a sense of urgency stifles popular cliches that "Black men love their women fat".  

Our Lady of Lourdes EXs and Afoakom USA: Convention Time

By Innocent Chia

Summer time in North America is Convention Season for most every immigrant group - ethnic, alma maters and professional organizations alike. Indeed, because of these conventions there is an inordinate number of immigrants who plan their annual vacation time to coincide with these events that typically alternate from State to State, depending on the ability and willingness of the local chapters to host. And so it is that former students of the all female secondary school located in Cameroon's Northwest Regional city of Bamenda, Our Lady of Lourdes College, are meeting in the midwest brewing Capital of Milwaukee, Wisconsin to celebrate and refocus following a year of serious hot flashes... Meantime, proud sons and daughters of Kom - village of the renown Afoakom - will not only be showing off juju styles in Minneapolis-Minnesota...